It’s interesting how deep one can dive into the layers of an ayahuasca ceremony, especially when integration is one of the foci of my work.
Recently, I’ve received deeper insights around:
- Why so many of people feel like they have a ton of creative ideas and fires within, yet LACK the confidence, self-belief and will power to fully express and execute them so that they become “real life” results.
- A crucial element in CREATING LASTING fulfillment and success in our personal lives, businesses, etc. that goes way beyond mindset.
- How this one deep-seated wound in the collective unconscious is holding most people back from manifesting their highest potential.
I believe in sharing my journeys as well as how I transform my life and business as a result of this integration and embodiment work, so more can benefit from my experiences.
My Ayahuasca Journey
I make it no secret that I’ve had some ayahuasca ceremonies that were less than ideal. I am not talking about challenging lessons, but the energy the facilitators bring into ceremonial experiences.
This aspect of how the beliefs (which is energy) of the facilitator impacts the participants’ experiences is much less discussed, and it is something I am hoping will be brought to light as the world is embracing psychedelics as a powerful technology to shift collective consciousness.
But this is not the focus of this post.
Last year, one of my ceremonies was quite agonizing partially due to the fact that the facilitator held onto the belief no help was to be offered to anyone throughout the entire night (I tapped into the energy of that belief during the ceremony).
The gift of that ceremony was for me to come to my own empowerment through owning an emotion I dismissed my entire life: anger. You can read more about the lessons and insights in this post HERE.
Within the next few months, I had a ton of triggering patterns surfacing; old patterns I believed I had shifted. At the same time, I also had an increasing number of interesting co-creations with people who tried to push my boundaries.
Through my own extensive integration (and beyond) work, I know those experiences had been gifted to me to upgrade myself.
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Wounded Masculine in Shamanism (and the World)
It began with me receiving an urge to look deeper into my love affair with ayahuasca.
The vine of the soul represents the divine feminine energy. She is the Goddess that creates, the earth that nourishes, the maiden that inspires, the mother that loves (and sometimes through tough love) and the crone teaches.
We also live in a world where collectively, systems and institutions have been built on the shadow energy of the wounded masculine.
Each of us is plugged into the wounded masculine until extensive self-work is performed; the MAJORITY of this self-work takes place in between journeys, in between silent meditation retreats, and in between each breath.
Shamans and facilitators are still human beings at various stages of their own conscious evolution and cosmic awakening. This isn’t about finger pointing; this is about awareness.
Sometimes, the ceremonial settings and experiences reflect exactly where the facilitators’ blockages are. So when the participants do not have a certain level of awareness, and completely place the power of self-healing and transformation in the hands of shamans and facilitators, they are unconsciously giving away their power and taking on energy of beliefs that are not the most empowering.
In addition, traditional shamanism is very much male-dominated.
There are certain traditions where women are not allowed to serve this very feminine medicine. To me, this means several things:
Awaken The Feminine
The divine feminine is on the rise, and she is also asking all of us, women and men to honor her energy in every aspect of our existence, in both ceremony and in life.
I want to clarify that the energies of divine feminine and divine masculine go BEYOND gender and sexual orientation which means this goes light years deeper than having more medicine women and female shamans in this work because women can hold onto wounded masculine energy as well. So if that is the case, the actions from an unempowered woman are perpetuating the wounded masculine energy, and the same goes for men.
One of the ways to honor the feminine is through healing and awakening the masculine which is the predominant energy in our world right now, including in shamanism.
The first step is always awareness.
In my work with ayahusca, I’ve been shown again and again how important it is for each of us, woman or man, to tap into both our empowered feminine and masculine within to not only become the most self-expressed versions of who we are, but also help shift humanity as a whole.
When we live from a place of wounded masculine, we have difficulty in owning our unique voices and gifts. We deprive ourselves the SELF-PERMISSION to stand in our power, truths and core values.
It results in powerlessness, victimhood, lack of confidence and faith, lack of inner strength and discipline, lack of integrity, and lack of WILL POWER to carry out the divine mission of the soul.
My Own Wounded Masculine
This was the story of my life.
Growing up in communist China where everyone existed under the oppression of the wounded masculine, people not only accepted, but glorified suppressed self-expression, low self-worth, conformity, lack and struggle.
As a society, people believed struggle was a virtue as well as path to honor, and children were bombarded with literature that worshiped self-sacrifice, scarcity, and hardships.
Like many children, including those in the western society, I grew up not having an energetic model of the empowered masculine.
Throughout life, I’ve had to overcome each of those patterns as part of my own journey of always saying yes to my highest potential. My hero’s journey is part of the soul agreement for me to be able to hold that space for my clients to reprogram, upgrade, and step into their wholeness, creative power, and sovereign leadership.
The Marriage Between Feminine and Masculine
While the divine feminine flows with creativity, unique self-expression and intuition, the divine masculine calls for inner confidence, courage, stability, integrity, faith, and aligned action.
These two energies can seem opposing, but they are actually complementary to each other because they are interconnected and interdependent. They are literally within each other as the yin and yang diagram.
Being that most of us are still plugged into the wounded masculine, this explains why many people feel like they have a ton of creative fire within, but do not have the will power and faith to take the necessary actions to create what they are most called to create.
When the masculine within is not empowered enough, and he is not taking a powerful stand for her creativity, the marriage between these two energies cannot take place which means that goal, that dream, or that vision of yours simply gets put on the back burner.
The disempowered masculine leads to excuses like, “I am not good enough” or ‘I don’t think I have what it takes.”
The wounded masculine can also manifest as the alpha male archetype which is someone who relies on violence, force, aggression, judgment, control, separation, oppression, manipulation and deceit to accomplish his or her desires; again, this can be a man or a woman. This is also someone who sees everything as black and white.
Last week, I was watching Don Giovanni at the Metropolitan Opera House. The famous character Don derives a sense of power from sexual conquests, murder, deceit, oppressing the weak, and gluttony. Don is the ultimate example of someone who is very wounded in his masculinity.
A common example of a more subtle form of wounded masculine energy I see in clients is the game called “playing small,” this can show up in their self-expression, business, relationships, and spiritual expansion.
It unconsciously shows up as this:
- Who am I to ask for all these things?
- I shouldn’t talk about myself, or bring too much attention to myself because it’s not humble or spiritual.
- I shouldn’t openly celebrate my wins or else people will think I’m arrogant, and they won’t like me.
That’s a wound in itself. You can read more about it in my post HERE.
At the core, the wounded masculine is one of the reasons why so many people are holding back from their highest potential, and this includes those who have accomplished a ton of success and accumulated a lot of material wealth.
If your potential in this lifetime is to create a conscious community that awakens tens and thousands of souls, and you are a Wall Street CEO or banker buried in your 17 hour days, you are not tapped into your highest potential.
Each being came to earth with a specific mission to fulfill that not only serves their highest good, but also the highest good of humanity. If you allow yourself to be divinely guided by that inner fire, and take the necessary steps to ignite it from the inside out, your life enters a rhythm of infinite flow, creativity, abundance and beauty.
But for as long as you are creating from force, or fear which is the root cause of force, you are not a frequency match to your highest potential which can only be manifested into physical existence from a clear space fueled by love, intuition, self-expression, unconditional worth, wholeness, faith, and inner power.
To be in this space requires you to fully harness the power of the divine feminine and masculine within, and engage in this intricate dance of co-creation.
When your inner Goddess and God begin this cosmic dance, this is when you redefine conscious success and leadership on your terms, and create heaven on earth.
This is also when every cell within you is exploding with joy, vibrance, liberation and purpose; anchored in your embodied wholeness and sovereignty.
At the core, this is my work.
My ceremony was just a glimpse of the dynamic between the feminine and masculine energies in this world right now, and I am truly thankful that I’ve been gifted these experiences and co-creators in my life that were triggering at the time so I could raise my standards in my life, and step into an upgraded version of who I am.
Who You Are Determines What You Create
I am also going to say that if you work with plant medicine, regardless of how awesome the facilitators are, and I’ve had many beautiful human beings holding space for me, at the end of the day, no one is more powerful than you because you are a physical expression of an infinite creative energy who is whole and complete, just as you are.
Plant medicine can bring all the emotional wounds and triggers to the forefront of your consciousness, but you still need to do the work to reclaim your power. 50-70% of this work comes IN BETWEEN your ceremonies.
What creates results that you want comes from WHO YOU ARE BEING, and what level of consciousness you are activating with every breath you are taking, in every moment.
If you are experiencing stagnancy and lack of growth in your personal, professional or spiritual life, just know that it is NEVER a relationship issue, a money issue, or a market issue. These are just symptoms, but they are not the root causes of why you are not having what you want.
I want you to take complete self-responsibility, and do this work to master yourself.
In order for you to embody your zone of genius, and be the glorious version of you that your soul envisioned you to be when you took on this human journey, just mindset work is not enough. Just going to a couple of one-off healing sessions is not enough. Just practicing gratitude and going to mediation is not enough. And just going from ceremony to ceremony is not enough.
Everything that is outside of you is meant to be used as a bridge. You use the bridge to cross over to the other side, but you still need to make the decision to walk yourself over, one step at a time.
Welcome to the Age of Self-Mastery
I am going to say this, there is no magic formula. There is no one size fits all path. And there is certainly no one more strategy “out there” that can get you to where you want to be.
Ayahuasca is no magic pill. She is not here to heal you, cure you, or transform you. That goes for any psychedelic you choose to work with.
However, there is also the Law of Polarity which states, if you have a DESIRE to step into the highest vision and version of Who You Are, and optimize all areas of your life through aligned purpose, conscious co-creation, and heart-centered leadership, that possibility ALREADY EXISTS. It is waiting for you to breathe life into it by first MAKING A CHOICE AND TAKING AN ALIGNED ACTION NOW.
Working with a coach is the fastest way to achieve that.
This is the age of self-mastery.
This is the age where each of us has the freedom to stand in our power and unique gifts, and allow ourselves to be seen and heard.
This is the age of BEING FULLY SEEN, AND APPRECIATED FOR WHO WE ARE.
So if you are not waking up feeling excited every morning, or you are letting excuses called “I am not good enough for this,” “I can’t afford to take that step,” or “I want to hold onto my safety net here” stopping you from fully manifesting your potential in this lifetime, your vision is either too small, or, you are not receiving the support that you need to uplevel, create a life you love, and leave your blazing trail behind.
Is it time for you to finally BECOME THE PERSON YOU ARE BORN TO BE?